Wednesday, December 31, 2008

New Years many of us keep them?!? We all make them though. So I've been thinking about what I want for 2009. Instead of calling them resolutions, I'm calling them goals. As long as I'm moving forward and progressing, no matter how far I get (each one is different), then I'm successful. These are some of the things I want to work on:


1. Continue to develop a stronger relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ.

2. Study the scriptures more often...daily would be great.

3. Moving my life along.

4. Lose weight...I now know that I don't have to be skinny to feel good about myself. I do not have to be model-thin. Society will not dictate what's best for me.


1. Be more patient with Alex and help him reach for his potential.

2. Make decisions that will ultimatley affect the family in a good way.


1. Contract with two or more doctors to do their billing. Don't want to grow too fast, roots need to grow deep.


1. Try to go to more church activities and fight the feeling of being a wallflower (we all know who puts those thoughts in our head).

These are just a few. Some will continues even past 2009. I really want to make good changes this year.

I hope that all my family and friends have a great New Year. May God bless you all.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

A reward!


I received this reward from Screaming Mimi...Thanks so much Pam!! Like her I enjoy the blogs with depth in them. This is what she had to say:

I really like this award because of the way it says that these bloggers are not interested in lots of prizes, awards, etc.
I have been to some blogs, where the only goal seems to be snatching blog awards anywhere they can find them, whether they have been given these awards or not. The blogs I love are ones that I can relate to. The ones that deal with lifes joys, pitfalls & surprises with grace and laughter.The award states:"This blog invests and believes the PROXIMITY - nearness in space, time and relationships!These blogs are exceedingly charming. These kind bloggers aim to find and be friends. They are not interested in prizes or self-aggrandizement. Our hope is that when the ribbons of these prizes are cut, even more friendships are propagated. Please give more attention to these writers! Deliver this award to eight bloggers who must choose eight more and include this cleverly-written text into the body of their award."

I don't have eight I can send this to as Pam has already done so from those that I know. I do however have one more person and that is Aubrey at The Dogghouse!. She is my cousin and I love her blog. I love how she shares herself spiritually. Love ya Aubrey!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

What a fun Christmas season this is. My folks got in a few days ago. And Matt came home tonight!

Matt had some real neat experiences the last two days. While sitting in the airport for nearly 24 hours he had a lot of people come up and shake his hand and say thank you to him. I think that shows there are still genuine people in the world. It makes my heart swell with pride. Then while he was waiting at the gate he had fallen asleep. A nice person woke him up so he wouldn't miss the flight. When he went to the counter, the attendant looked at Matt and said "You're sitting up front!" and bumped him to 1st class for free. I thought that was pretty nice. He sleep comfortable for 2.40 hours.

Matt didn't tell his girlfriend Jenifer that he was coming home tonight (he was supposed to come home tomorrow). He just showed up at her door!

I've been so enjoying the last few days. I've had a couple of very busy days. (Not what the doctor told me to do). So outside of going to church tomorrow, I will be staying home and relaxing. I can't undo everything that was surgically fixed. I did get to start working from home this week...ok'd by the doctor. I actually enjoyed it too.

It's a very cold night here. It was in the 70's during the day but a cold front has come through and it's only 32 now. Brrrrr....

Monday, December 15, 2008

Matt's Jump!

Ok, first let me start off by saying "Yes I'm a sponge". Now that that is out of the way Matt called and told me about his jump from an airplane today. He said that he really didn't jump as much as he got sucked out of the plane. So now he is free falling and his shoot is supposed to automatically open up...I said it did...right??? He's says, "Well mom, no it actually didn't". My stomach hits the floor Shock . So I said, "At least your backup did." He says. "Well actually it didn't". At this point I'm trying to process what he's telling me, after all I was actually talking to him so he had to have made it down safe...right? I asked him what he did. He said as he was free falling he thought for sure it was over...he was going to die. So he unbuckled his harness and landed on another soldiers open shoot. I'm thinking..well...wouldn't that collapse that soldiers shoot? I was trying to understand what he was saying. Well you guessed it...I was the butt of a joke. I'm not stupid...just gullable! He actually did just fine and jumped twice. He jumps two more times tomorrow and is looking forward to it. I'm just breathing a sigh of relief. Whew

Sunday, December 14, 2008

The Race

"Quit, give up, you're beaten"
They shout at you and plead
"There's just too much against you
This time you can't succeed".

And as I start to hang my head
In front of failures face
My downward fall is broken
by The memory of a race

And hope refills my weakened will
As I recall that scene
Or just the thought of that short race
Rejuvenates my being

Childrens race, young boys
Young men, how I remember well
Excitement sure, but also fear
It wasn't hard to tell

They all lined up so full of hope
Each thought to win that race
Or tie for first, or if not that
At least take second place

The fathers watched from off the side
Each cheering for his son
And each boy hoped to show his dad
That he could be the one

The whistle blew and off they went
Young hearts and hopes afire
To win and be the hero there
Was each young boys desire

And one boy in particular
Whose dad was in the crowd
Was running near the lead and thought
"My dad will be so proud"

But as they speeded down the field
Across a shallow dip
The little boy who thought to win
Lost his step and slipped

Trying hard to catch himself
With hands flew out to brace
And amid the laughter of the crowd
He fell flat on his face

But as he fell his dad stood up
And showed his anxious face
Which to the boy so clearly said
"Get up and win the race"

He quickly rose, no damage done
Behind a bit that's all
And ran with all his night and mind
To make up for the fall

So anxious to restore himself
To catch up and to win
His mind went faster than his legs
He slipped and fell again

He wised then that he had quit before
With only one disgrace
"I'm hopeless as a runner now
I shouldn't try to race"

But in the laughing crowd he searched
And found his fathers face
That steady look which said again
"Get up and win the race"

So up he jumped to try again
Ten yards behind the last
If I'm going to gain those yards he though
I've got to move real fast

Exerting everything he had
He regained eight or ten
But trying hard to catch the lead
He slipped and fell again

Defeat, he lay there silently
A tear dropped from his eye
There's no sense running anymore
Three strikes, I'm out, why try?

The will to rise had disappeared
All hope had fled away
So far behind so error prone
A loser all the way

"I've lost, so what", he thought
I'll live with my disgrace
But then he thought about his dad
Whom soon he'd have to face

"Get up" the echo sounded low
"Get up" and take your place
You were not meant for failure here
"Get up", and win the race

With borrowed will "Get up" it said
"You haven't lost at all"
For winning is no more than this
To rise each time you fall

So up he rose to run once more
And with a new commit
He resolved, that win or lose
At least he shouldn't quit

So far behind the others now
The most he'd ever been
Still he'd give it all he had
And run as though to win

Three times he'd fallen, stumbling
Three times he'd rose again
Too far behind to hope to win
He still ran to the end

They cheered the winning runner
As he crossed the line first place
Head high and proud and happy
No falling, no disgrace

But when the fallen youngster
Crossed the line, last place
The crowd gave him the greater cheer
For finishing the race

And even though he came in last
With head bent low, unproud
You would have thought he'd won the race
To listen to the crowd

And to his dad he sadly said
"I didn't do too well"
"To me you won", his father said "
You rose each time you fell"

by D. H. Groberg

Saturday, December 13, 2008

The Meaning of Christmas Symbols

Here are the meanings to the Christmas symbols

·The Star: A heavenly signs of prophecy fulfilled long, long ago- The shining hope of mankind.

·The Color Red: The first color of Christmas, symbolizing that Savior's sacrifice for all.

·The Fir Tree: Evergreen- the second color of Christmas shows everlasting light and life. The needles point up to heaven.

·The Bell: Rings out to guide lost sheep back to the fold, signifying that all are precious in His eyes.

·The Candle: A mirror of starlight, reflecting our thanks for the star of Bethlehem.

·The Gift Bow: Tied as we should all be tied together in bonds of goodwill forever.
·The Candy Cane: Represents the shape of the shepherd's crook, used to bring lost lambs back to the fold.

The Wreath: A symbol of the never ending eternal value of love…having no end
Gizmo has been by my side everyday since my surgery. He's just too darned cute. If I sleep, he sleeps. If I get up he gets up. And then, of course, if HE plays, I play. Here a a couple of pictures of him destroying my bed. He loves to bury himself under my pillow. And then he waits for his prey...ME!



And he can be so cute when he sleeps. He was cold and had crawled under a leg warmer on my bed.


Thursday, December 11, 2008

Pondering Friendships

I was thinking about the friends I've made since I moved to Texas. At the time my husband was active duty Marine. We moved here in 1998. For the past 5 years we lived in Belton, Missouri. I did daycare and developed friendships with the other daycare providers. Being the kind of person that I am...I gave my all in a friendship. I developed a strong bond with Percilla. We took our daycare kids everywhere together, we watched each others kids when we got sick, etc. A true friendship...right?!!??! Or so I thought...

When Steve got his transfer orders to Texas I was sad because I had good friends here, especially one.

(Sidenote: I'm very greatful to have come to Texas. We were ordered to California. I have never wanted to live in California. I always dreaded it. Well, one of my daycare moms knew our monitor and reminded him that he owed her a favor. She told him to not mess with her babysitter because she did not want to go to he sent us here to Fort Worth)

Ok, back to my ponderings...When I told Percilla that we were moving to Fort Worth she dropped a bomb on me. She did not hang on to friendships once people move. She said they come here, they leave, they're gone, end of story. I was floored. That's not what I consider true friendships. I don't cut people off like that! How can people do that. I was devastated. I have friends all over the place. I sure remember them and kept in contact as I can. Yes, I know distance can make a friendship fade, but it's not like cutting it off completely and pretending it was never there. I felt real alone when I moved here. I had no friend to share my change with.

Anyway, my point in all of this was that I don't get it. I've been thinking about it for the past few days (don't really know why). Can anyone explain it to me.


My friend has this on her blog and I thought it was pretty cool, so I asked her for a letter. The game is easy! All you have to do is make a list of ten of your favorite things. There's a little catch. Everything on the list has to start with a specific letter of the Alphabet. That letter is randomly assigned by the blogger who you are playing with! I got "P".

So here is my list of 'P' favorites in no particular order:

1. Pasta, pizza, peanut butter...when you love food like I do, you can't just list one!

2. are my way of capturing memories. I'm a scrapaholic!

3. Playing...with Gizmo. He is the pup who has stolen my heart!

4. Proud...I'm proud of my children and the accomplishments they've made in their lives!

5. Plenty of friends...I have made some real good friends over the past 8 years. They are truely a blessing.

6. Parents...I love my parents tremendously. They lovingly raised me in the right way to live. For that I will always be grateful.

7. Petunia, pansies, petals...yep I love flowers of any kind!

8. Peace...I love peace. I am a peace maker. Live is so much happier lived in peace.

9. one of many colors I enjoy.

10. Promise...the promise of a new day is something to look forward to. Will you make each day better?

So there you have it. I did have to get a little creative as the letter 'P' wasn't as easy as I thought. So now leave me a note and I'll give you a letter to work on!!

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Today has been a lazy day. I did nothing but chill out. Surfed the internet, surfed itunes, read (Twilight), watched TV (The Game Plan (?) with "The Rock". The one where he has a little girl..way too cute). Lets see... talked to mom and dad for about an hour. See what I mean...LAZY!!! And I think it will be that way tomorrow too. I'm still bleeding from the surgery...not sure how long that's supposed to last so I've definitely decided to slow down. I go see the doctor for my two week check up on monday.

Matt is excited to come home. He said he is tired. I bet he's hard being put on a schedule. But wait until he comes home...he'll be so used to getting up early that his body alarm will kick in. Hmmmm....maybe I'll invest in some ear plugs!

I wish I could drive Friday....I want to go to the movies. It's become my treat for myself. I thought I'd hate going by myself but it's actually fun.

Okay, so I know my last few posts have been boring...but now you know how bored I really!

No more torchure tonight!...

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

So I'm one week and a day after surgery. I've been told to take it easy. Basically rest and relax. No lifting, vaccuming, etc. Well I haven't been able to stay true to that. My house is a wreck and I have a teenager who just doesn't understand...or because of that nasty stage... just doesn't care. I put my own sheets on the bed the other day. I have a kingsize mattress. I took my time doing it but it sure pooped me out. Then today I couldn't handle the kitchen anymore. I gave in and cleaned it. Afterward I took a very long nap...I was wore out. When I was growing up I had chores and I helped around the house. Unfortunately I didn't have the backup help I needed to instill this in my children. My youngest is in charge of the dishes. His idea is to load the dishwasher maybe 1/4 full and that's enough to run it. Oh, and lets not forget that he thinks the dishwasher is a scrubber too. Forget about wiping down the counters or cleaning out the sink. And I've done the laundry. I did demand someone take the baskets of clothes and put them on my bed. I was not a horrible housekeeper back in the day. But when my kids got old enough to help out, BUT DIDN'T ...I gave up. Just as soon as I have everything looking nice...WHAM...its a mess, that fast. I know this is a big ol long rant but I had to get it out. I'm dying inside! Can I go live by myself?!?!??!?

Saturday, December 6, 2008

So I am home from surgery. I actually came home wednesday night. Monday was the surgery. It was supposed to start at 9:15 am but didn't get started until after 12:30 sometime. I remember very little from being wheeled into the O.R. They put me out so fast. I usually will feel it hit and the be out shortly afterwards but this time...BAM...I'm gone. Everything went well. Once they removed the utuerus my bladder bounced right back where it should be so they did not have to perform that procedure. However they did find a hernia in another area (don't care to mention where...ahem) so that got fixed. I have a vague recollection of being in the recovery room. My regular room was not ready so I was in recovery for 4 hours. Hardly remember it. I do remember that they let Steve see me for a few minutes...but thats all I remember. Matt's girlfriend Jenifer came to the hospital and waited with Steve. I thought that was so sweet. She brought me flowers and a balloon. The first night was hard. I hurt and hardly slept. They had to keep me turning positions every 2 hours. The nurse that first night was so sweet. As for the others...they were nice but hardly saw them. Hospital food is awful...especially when they put you on a liquid diet. I HATE GREEN JELLO!!!!...nuf said...hehehehe.

I am home now and actually getting bored. Also frustrated. There are things I want to do but I can't because I can't lift anything over 10 pounds. I walk up and down the stairs for entertainment. Six weeks of this!!!...aaagggghhhh!

Fun times are coming though. Mom and Dad will be here on the 17th and will stay through the new year. And Matt comes home on the 20th!!! We will have lots of fun!

Gizmo.....gizmo is begging me to play with him....more later...

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Butterflies in my stomach

Surgery is looming ahead of me...have to be there in 12 hours...7:15am. I am so nervous. I've never been put under for that long, 3.5 hours. For me, that's the scariest thing. Yes I know all will be well...the human side of me is trembling. Hey I get a six week reprieve from the office...going in that is! I'll be able to work from home in a few weeks. I'll be looking forward to it because I know I'll get bored.I really do like my job.

Talked with Matt, he has his PT test in the morning at 6:00 am and then leaves for airborne at 11:00. I asked him if he was looking forward to learning how to fall on his head. Steve had said that he never has headaches except when he went through airborne. Then Matt gets to come home for Christmas...YEA!!!

Alex and I went to see Quantum of Solace today. It was alright but nothing spectacular. There really was no story...very littel anyway. But it was action packed. Then we watched Hancock at home. It was good, kind of corney but good. I'm watching a lot of movies today to keep my mind preoccupied. So I also watched The Bishops Wife w/ Cary Grant It's really good. I like old movies.

Well I'm about to find something else to watch and climb into bed. Don't know that I'll sleep much but if I go to bed now I may doze off and on.

Say some prayers for me for tomorrow. Thanks!

Friday, November 28, 2008

A Day for Pampering

Today I am going to pamper myself. I'm going to go see 'Twilight' in an hour all by my lonesome. And then I'm going to go get a pedicure..heck I might even get a manicure. Then I'm going to relax at home...curl up with a blanket, my poochie Gizmo, and a good book. Of course I'll probably end up snoozing a bit....but who cares...I'm pampering myself.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving Day


Whew! I'm so full...not eating again for a long time. Yeah, if only that were true, lol!
Steve had to work today so we had our feast at 5:00 pm. Actually that's good because I don't want any leftovers tonight.

This being Thanksgiving I wanted to list a few things I'm thankful for:

1-I'm thankful for a Heavenly Father who knows me inside and out and blesses me with the things I need. I'm grateful that He loves me in spite of my faults.

2-I'm thankful for two wonderful boys. They have brought joy, love and peace to my soul.

3- I'm thankful for my parents who taught me the right way to live. To love my Savior and to follow in His way.

4-I'm thankful for the friends that I have. I thank them for standing by me when I need them most.

5- I'm thankful for my sweet poochie...yes I am. This pup is "womens best friend". Gizmo has completely stolen my heart!

What are you thankful for......

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving Eve

Today I had my pre-op appointment and final doctor consultation. My surgery is at Harris Downtown Fort Worth. That Hospital is huge. Thank heavens there was a worker in the garage becuase I didn't have a clue where to go. She took me right to where I needed to be. Of course they drew blood and did an EKG. Then it was off to see the surgeon. I feel confident in him. Dumb comment...I'd have to feel confident or he wouldn't be doing my surgery. Anywho...Monday is the big day. I have to be there at 7:15 and the surgery is scheduled for 9:15. The doc said it would take about 3 1/2 hours to complete. I know I will be staying overnight. The nurse had to fight my insurance company for that. They wanted to send me home afterwards. How stupid is that!! An organ is being removed and some others repairs being made. I hate that 'Get-em-in...get-em-out' mentality. Let's make sure the patient is okay first...sheesh!!!

I'm making the full blown Thankgiving dinner for tomorrow. It's only the Three of us but they like it. So tonight I will be making the pies and doing all the prep work for tomorrow. The only thing different this year is that I bought a small turkey verses the humongous bird.

I'm going to see 'Twilight' on myself. Can't get Alex to go. I've heard both good and bad. But the good has outweighed the bad. So I will make my own decision!

Well...I'm going to start my cooking at ya later!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Matt Graduation Pictures

Matt Turning Blue





Matt Graduation Day




Wearing the military issued glasses (he looks like Urkle!!!)


Matt Bootcamp Graduation

My visit with Matt was just wonderful!! Get ready for a long post here…lol

We were scheduled for the 5:45 AM flight out of Fort Worth to Houston. We live 45 minutes away from the airport (You need to know this before hand). We get there and pull out our ID’s….all except Matt’s girlfriend Jenifer. She left it at our house!!! So needless to say we did’nt make the flight or the flight from Houston to Atlanta. We drove all the way back to my house got her ID and booked it back to the airport hoping to catch the 6:35 am flight. We were 5 minutes late. Murphy’s Law you know! We finally got to Atlanta around 5:00 pm. We stayed at The Suburban Extended stay Hotel (Jeannie do you know where that’s on Victory) It was pretty nice.

Matt’s Turning Blue Ceremony was on Thursday morning. It was so cool to see him come running out to formation. Steve put his blue cord on him. Then Matt got to spend the day with us. We just went back to the hotel and chilled. Matt was in seventh heaven updating his computer, etc.

The Graduation was Friday morning and boy was it COLD!!! I got some cool pictures (at least I think so) of the little presentation they put on before the soldiers marched onto the field. There were 250 soldiers graduating. I loved it! Matt got to spend the weekend with us. Took him shopping for clothes, etc. He’s so happy to have some freedom now. And He got his cell phone back. He’s already text me today…hehehehe.

Fort Benning is huge!!! Biggest Base I’ve every seen. It was a great time.

The flight home was miserable from Atlanta to Houston. Since we were on passed we got the left over seats. I was stuck in the very back row, middle seat, in between two older men. One was real nice and we talked a bit. The other guy was annoyed because I’m not small. It was claustrophobic! But I made it home and I get to pick up my poochie today at 2:00!!!

Sorry this was so long. I’ll attach pics in a bit. I’ve got to figure out how again!
Everyone have a great day!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It's Almost Here!!!

OMG...24 hours from now I'll be in Houston awaiting the flight to Atlanta, GA. Then we'll get in the rental car and drive to Fort Benning. I'm so excited! I'm sure I won't sleep much tonight. We have to be to the airport by 5:00 am. Heck, why bother even going to bed...LOL!

I do have one thing that makes me sad about leaving. I'm boarding Gizmo at the vets. Now I know they love him but he's never been in a kennel. He'll be so lonely. He won't understand why I left him there. Oh I'm crying. Gizmo is people to me. He's my baby. He loves me in spite of my faults. Gizmo is king of the house! He is the sweetest dog I've ever had. I love this pooch like he was my child. I know the people at the vet are fond of him and will take good care of him. It's probably going to be harder on me than Gizmo....sigh

Gotta get to work here so if I have time I'm post more later...

Monday, November 17, 2008

It was a hit!!

The primary program was a success! We only went over 10 minutes. The kids were so cute and sang so loud. I made a few mistakes but all was good. I give thanks to my Heavenly Father for getting me through that. It has always been a fear of mine. I have played the piano for the primary off and on over the last 29 years. But I have never...NEVER had to play for the yearly program. I was either released before it or was a primary teacher at the time. So this was a huge hurdle for me. I had no sweaty palms, no hyperventilating, etc. I just did my thing. It felt good. Imagine that...29 years of fear...and finally I've overcome...just don't ask me to play a solo!!!!

I can't believe how fast time has flown. July 30th we sent Matt off to we're off to see his graduation day after tomorrow. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!! I bet he's changed a whole lot. He may be grown up now but he will always be my baby :0)

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Yesterday Alex and I put up the Christmas tree and decorations. I normally don't do it until Thanksgiving Day or there after. But with my surgery looming in the distance and going to see Matt this week, along with getting my work computer moved to here at home (I do work on my laptop two days a week but not all week long. Don't want to tire the poor thing out) and family coming, house cleaning , etc., Christmas decorations needed to be done now...whew, long sentence! Anyway we played Christmas music and really got in the spirit of it all. And a cool thing too is that is was very chilly outside so it even felt like Christmas. Too bad there wasn't snow.

Today is the Primary program. It will be interesting to see how it goes. I sure hope I don't blow it for the kids...heck...they won't even's just me who gets all embarrassed hitting wrong notes. I've never had to actually play in sacrament meeting before so this will be a first. I'll let you know how they did (as well as

Friday, November 14, 2008

Is this my house???

This morning I talked to mom and dad for a bit. I'm so excited to have them come spend Christmas and NewYears with us!! We will just sit back and relax and enjoy each others company!!

After talking to my folks I started you know what I found out... the lamp shades in my living room are cream in color...not grey! It was like getting a new accessory for my living room...LOL!

I had bought a new vaccum because our windtunnel was too hard to maintain. Well the one I got is Bissel and I really like the hose/ attachments, the suction is awesome...however I don't care so much for the rest (except it does real well on hardwood floors). So I have decided to keep my old one as well where I like the carpet cleaning part and not the hose.

Now that I've totally bored you and put me to sleep...I'm trying real hard to whip this place into shape. I confess I'm not the greatest housekeeper but I'm sure trying.

Matt called last night and he is sooooo looking forward to seeing us. He sounds tired. He said they've been cleaning all the equipment, guns, barracks, etc. all week. It's been no lights out 24/7. I asked him when they slept and he said whenever they can find a moment. They've learned to sleep with the lights on. Man, I could never do that...I want it dark!!!

Tonight Ghost Whisperer is on and I'm shocked they killed off Melinda's husband. My jaw hit the floor in last weeks episode. Tonight I've already to everyone...LEAVE ME ALONE...while I'm watching it tonght.

It's getting cool outside. The coldfront is starting through. I just wish it would stay, I'm a winter kind of girl!

More later...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Here is the quiz for today. I have no idea how to tag, link, etc. So enjoy and if the urge hit's you leave me a comment with your own answers!

3's about me (that you may not already know) Three jobs I have had in my life: Multi-line Insurance Rater, Home Daycare Provider, Medical Billing/Coding

Three shows that I watch: Ghost Whisperer, House, Reality Shows (some of them)

Three places I have been this week: Church, movie theater, work

Three people who e-mail me regularly: Christy, Mom, Joanna

Three of my favorite foods: Steak, anything Mexican, anything Italian

Three places I'd rather be: Blaine Minnesota (visiting family), Hawaii , getting a spa treatment somewhere

Three people I think will respond: Aubrey, Joanna, Jeannie

Three things I am looking forward to: Seeing Matt in a week!!! Christmas and New Years ( family coming to see us!)
I had a blast working on my blog last night. A lot of fun things out there and other blogs to creatively copy from...LOL. So I thank Aubrey, Jeannie, and Pam. I sure would like to get more creative in what I write. It's more like a journal for me but I really like the quizes I receive on my email so I think I may add some of those too.

Today through Saturday is major house cleaning day. On top of that I'm going to do a little shopping. I want to find one of the fiberoptic Christmas trees. they are so pretty and low maintenance. Otherwise I want a tree with the lights already on it and new decorations. Christmas this year is going to be awesome. Matt, my parents, hopefully Steve's mom will all be here.

I'm off and running now but will add more meaningful substance to my blog later...chow!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

ONE MORE WEEK!!!!!! November 12, 2008

I can't believe how fast time flies! We're already getting things together to go see Matt. His friend Jenifer and I are coordinating how we're going to get the things Matt wants us to bring to him. Since we're flying on buddy passes, we are carrying our bags on board. I am not looking forward to the squishy seats.

I am cleaning my house from top to bottom (ok, I'll give it a good effort since I'm not the greatest keeper). Time is going to fly from next week on for a while. When we get back from Georgia, I've got to get all the Christmas stuff up and the house decorated...Have Thanksgiving (which by the way was started by my ninth Great Grandfather Governor William Bradford). Then December 1st is my surgery.

I really not looking forward to the surgery....actually kind of scared. Four procedures will be done and the doctor said it would take about 3 1/2 hours to complete. I'll be sore for a while, but I'll have 6 weeks to recover.

Mom and Dad, Steve's mom (maybe), are coming down for Christmas. Matt is so excited ans well as I am!!!

Will need to complete my thoughts later as I'm supposed to be working.....check back later!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tuesday November 11, 2008

It's 7:49 am and already I have spend several hours searching my heart for the things I want in life. I'm actually feeling pretty good about some of the decisions I've come up with. Actually they are things I've thought about for some time. It's time to take control of myself, take care of myself, be the person I want to be. It feels good. Now I know I need to go to my Heavenly Father first to see if these changes are what's best for me. But for the first time in a long head and heart are in the same place. Heck, who knows, maybe now I can quit sabatoshing myself LOL!

I'm actually starting to have fun with this blog. I'm still pulling my hair out trying to figure out how to put things on it..but hey, that's the nature of the beast! Oh, and Jeannie, if you happen to visit my blog...I'm really not copying....just having a lot of fun!!

Eight more days and we fly out to visit Matt!!!! I'm sooooooo excited. Can't say I'm too excited about the plane ride (ie the very small seats!). I'm feeling sad about leaving Gizmo behind. I'm boarding him at our vets. They really like him and I know they'll take good care of him. It's just that I have never kennel trained him. He'll freak!!! My poor baby...sob......

It's time to get working...I love my job!! Ta-ta for now :0)

Monday, November 10, 2008

I wrote Matt a long letter today. I was listing the things I had to do before he got home. I started to get that anxiety feeling. It's a strange feeling. It's a sense to describe...a sense of not being in control. It didn't last long but I was surprised I felt that way in just writing a letter.

Anywho, I'm taking a deep breath and trying to go with the flow.

Yesterday we practiced for the Primary program. What a hoot! Our primary is fairly large...imagine at least 50-60+ kids in a restless state for 2 hours. Oh my gosh, the program is supposed to be about 35-40 minute took 2 hours to get through it just once...hehehe. Somehow every year it all works out. The children behave, remember their parts, and hopefully the pianist doesn't screw up LOL!

One worry has been removed from my mind as far as work is concerned through my recovery from surgery. I will be bringing my PC home so I have access to everything on it and not have to worry about someone else printing something out for me. So I'm relieved. I'm one of those people who hates relying on others for help. I know...I need to let others help me when in need. It's not only a blessing for me but a blessing for others who want to serve. It's just hard getting that through my head.

People from church will be bringing in meals for a little while in the beginning so Steve and Alex don't have to worry about it. My folks will be here for Christmas and just having them here to enjoy their company is a comfort. Steve's mom may being coming down too. She would do anything for me. I will say that I have been blest with the most absolute wonderful parents anyone could ask for. And I also was blest with the most wonderful Mother-in-law!

I am so looking forward to Matt coming home for Christmas. He loves Christmas...the lights, the music, the Christmas shows, the goodies...just the whole feeling of love at Christmas time.

I remember one Christmas while growing up that I'll never forget. We did a sub for Santa program that year. I was a senior in high school. We were asked to buy gifts for the children of the family that we were given. We did more than that. Each of us kids willingly gave up part of our own christmas and purchased toys for the children. As a family we didn't stop there, we also provided clothing to this family, including the mom & dad. They were hand me downs from our family, but these clothes, coats, etc. were in awsome condition. Then we bought a Christmas Tree with all the lights and decorations. Then we provided them with a Christmas dinner including all the trimmings. I remember when we got to their home, the father had the kids go in a back room because "Santa" has just arrived. My dad does the best Ho-ho-ho's!!! You could hear the kids giggling of excitement in the background. As we brought all of these things in I glanced at the mother and there were tears streaming down her face. It was the most humbling moment for me. It wasn't all the things we were giving them. It was letting these strangers know that we loved them. The car ride home was silent...a peaceful silence. Grateful to be able to serve our brothers and sisters of the world. I always tear up when I think about that Christmas. That is what Christmas is all about.

It it so past my bedtime but somehow I feel like I just might get enough sleep. Going to sleep on these wonderful memories. Think I'll listen to some Christmas tunes to go to sleep by!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Sunday November 9, 2008

I feel like I'm trapped in a raging whirlpool, getting spun around and around. It's amazing to me how much pressure I put on myself because of my weight. I know I judge myself way too harshly. And right now I want to hide under the nearest (and biggest) rock. I was doing so good. From March of this year to July of this year I has lost 44 pounds. And now half of it is back on. I'm an emotional eater. I let littel stresses become big stresses. Things that are stressing me right now (and please don't laugh because they're huge to me even if not to anyone else): Having to play the piano for the Primary program next Sunday, fitting in an airplane seat that's smal even to a regular size person (and continental is the worst!), Matt seeing me with weight back on, my upcoming surgery, and a few other things that I don't care to write about.

I'm not having a pity me party, I'm just venting the emotions I have always dealt with. I always feel like I'm second best...or third...or fourth...etc. Now I can't say that with my children. I adore them and I know they love me. And of course my parents...they are the best any could ask for. They would do anything for me and I for them. I guess I'm talking about other relationships, but I don't want to get into it right now.

I seem to always run away from things and I don't want to do that anymore. I have made a lot of wonderful changes to myself over the past two years so I am grateful for that. I just need to keep moving forward.

I have to be positive the rest of the day. I owe it the those wonderful primary children who are so innocent. If they can overlook all my wrong notes...then I should be able too also.

More later....

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Thursday October 30, 2008

Today I start a 4 week challenge with a forum group that I participate in. The challenge is to be 100% on plan at losing weight. I fell off after my vacation in July. Not I have to practically start all over. I did not gain all the weight back that I lost, however enough back that I'm uncomfortable. I think about the airplane ride to GA, it's coming up very quickly...will I fit in the seat. Oh yes, I think about that a lot.

I've been thinking about the resurrection and the millennium lately. What it will be like, etc. It's my new interest of research. I especially wonder about having children. Since I'm too old now and technically after my surgery I won't be able too...I wonder if it will happen then. Food for though.

I'm working from home right now but these thoughts were in my head and I needed to write them down. More later...

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Tuesday October 28, 2008

Lots of time has past since I've posted on my blog. Guess I'm not the greatest at writing but's for me right!

Matt is done with boot camp and is in AIT now. He'll graduate on November 21st. I'm real excited to see him. Gosh I'm proud of him. He has grown so much. The maturity level amazes me.

We've settled into our groove at work. It's been a whirlwind. Taking a defunct company and turning it around has been an amazing trip. Our doctors couldn't be happier. It's now time to go out and drum up some new business. I say a little at a time so that roots can be planted & grow deep. I love the fact that I could make the decision to work from home 2 days a week. It lets me have that homemaker feel that I always liked as well as earning money.

My surgery is coming up on December 1st. I'm not looking forward to the actual surgery but I cant wait for the repairs. I'll have a six week recovery. I'll be able to sit back and relax as I can't lift anything , drive, or be very active for a bit. I will be able to work at home after a couple of weeks.

This past weekend I had a great time. I spent two night with my closest friend. We cropped and watched movies to our hearts content. We took her husband's Sky for a drive running errands. Talk about feeling like a teenager again. The top was down, the sun in my face, the wind blowing through my hair...we had a! We definitely have to plan that again.

The Primary program at church is in two weeks. I'm terrified to play the piano in fron tof the congregation. I know they are listening to the kids and not me. But I don't want to blow it for the kids. I hate the piano in the chapel. You have to push so hard and the music stand is up so high. At least I have someone playing with me so I only have to do half the songs.

Steve and I celebrate our 20th wedding anniversary tomorrow. It's hard to believe it's been 20 years already. I look back at us then and look at us now. There have been ups and downs but I have a lot to be greatful for. Two beautiful kids, our own home, good stable jobs, and a husband that makes me laugh.

It's the bewitching hour so I must get my sleep. More later...

Saturday, September 13, 2008

Saturday September 13, 2008

We watched all last night and quite a bit today concerning hurricane Ike. We were going to get tropical rains and winds as far north as here. The only thing we saw was a regular rainy day. I feel blest because Ike did some heavy duty damage in Galveston, Houston, etc. I guess I followed Ike more closely because I served my mission in the Texas Houston Mission which encompassed all these areas. I even served one month in Galveston. I was there during hurricane Alicia (not in Galveston) but in Madisonville, which is one hour north east of Houston. We say heavy rains, winds, downed trees, etc. then.

Matt called today to make sure that we were not in harms way. I assured him we were fine. Matt has settled into boot camp. He is a squad leader!!! (I'm so proud) and qualified as a sharpshooter. He's just shy of qualifying as an expert, which he is working on now. He loves going to church and says he feels so good when he walks through the doors. Matt graduates on November 21st. I'm looking forward to going to his graduation. His girlfriend, Jenifer will be going with us (which Matt is so excited).

Not a whole lot has gone on the past little bit. I'm still plugging away. Am definitley having a struggle with the diet. I've put a couple pounds back on (which I hate) but I'm going to try real hard starting tomorrow to get back on. I've worked so hard to get to this point and I don't want to fail.

Alex is working at Spring Creek BBQ. He buses tables and seems to enjoy making the money. He drives Matt's car to work which frees me up in the evenings.

Steve is plugging away at stopping crime on the streets of FTW.

Gizmo is....well...just about the sweetest thing around!!!! He and I have a routine every morning on the days I work from home. He wakes me up...way to early *sigh* and gets on the bed, smothers me in kisses. Then I have to let him outside. Once he's done,we race to the couch where I get the second round of doggy kisses. Who wouldn't love that!!!!!!

Well...I'm a bit on the exhausted side so it's off to bed for me...nighty nite!!!

Saturday, August 30, 2008

August 30, 2008

A lot has gone on the past few weeks. Matt is finally at book camp and seems to be enjoying it!!! The drill sargeants seem to like and respect him. He gets kidded a lot but to me that shows respect for Matt because he can take it. One of them said that he must have been brought up well because he was smart and level headed Smile He graduates on November 21st, 2008. Steve, Alex, myself and Jenifer are flying to Fort Benning and staying in base lodging. The night before thay have a ceremony where a family member can attached a blue stripe to matts uniform. Steve will do that. You can guess that I will be taking a ton of pictures...scrapbook time!!!!! Scrapbooking

Alex started school this week. I can't believe he's a junior! He can get his drivers liscense this week. He got a job working at SpringCreek BBQ. He likes it a lot.

Nothing new with me except I'm having a hard time getting back into the swing of my diet. I haven't gained any but if I'm not careful... Oops
Alex and I went to see 'Traitor' today. It was a slow starter...but then it turned into a good movie. Alex and I have decided that we are going to go to the movies together, just him & I, twice a month. It'll be fun. Mother - Son time! Sharing Popcorn

Thursday, August 7, 2008

We got a Letter from Matt!!

Good news...we got a letter from Matt today. As I suspected (I dreamt about it) he is homesick and isn't happy right now. He is in Reception right now and said they aren't doing anything. He is bored out of his mind. And having a hard time getting used to having Drill Sgts. I think once he gets to basic training it will change for him. Be more what he expected. But for now my heart hurts because he is hurting. The mom in me wants to give him a hug and tell him it'll be alright. Trials....we all have them, but sometimes it's pretty sucky!

He called tonight as well. We only got 5 minutes with him and it went by way to fast. Matt needs prayers right now. He needs to know he's not alone.

My mom gave me a great idea. To tell Matt to look at the moon. He may be far from us and not know what we're doing and feel like we've forgotten him. But when he looks at the moon he can know with asurity that I am looking at that very same moon thinking of him and praying for him. It will connect us together even though we are miles apart. It can be something we share.

I need to remind him to think about the blessing that Grandpa gave him. That the Lord would be with him and would keep him safe. Matt needs to have faith in that blessing and things will be okay.

Matt did ask that he get letters daily. I plan on sending letters and/or cards daily. And the packages when they're allowed to get them. Jenifer already has 6 letters to send him once we get an address for him. I'm in the middle of my second letter to him now.

Anyway it's late and I should be sleeping. So I will try to do that.

Enough for now...

Matt and Jenifer

Saturday, August 2, 2008

Saturday August 2, 2008

Wow, this month has whizzed by. Was busy spending as much time with Matt as possible. On Tuesday the 29th the recruiter picked Matt up to take him to Dallas. Then Wednesday we went up to Dallas to see Matt reswear in and sign contracts. And see him off on the bus to the Airport...Destination Fort Benning, GA via the airpot in Atlanta. It was sad to see him go. My first baby off on his own. Of course I cried privately at night in bed trying to deal with him leaving. He was able to take his cell phone and use it until Wednesday night when he got on the bus at ATL. He was texting me and then had to put his phone up. Haven't heard from him since. I'm antsy....I want to know that Matt is okay. Yes it's the Mom in me. I told him that even when he's 102 years old...he'd still be my baby!!! Otherwise I think I'm doing okay. Dad gave me a great Fathers blessing of comfort. I really feel it's power right now. Anyway I've added pictures for you to see. Please keep Matt in your prayers.

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Sunday July 13, 2008

Well, this past week has been interesting. First of all, Matt went to MEPS in Dallas Tuesday night. The Army put him up in a hotel because they had to be in the lobby at 4:20 am. Much easier that way since We're 45 min SW of Dallas. He went through all the exams, etc. When he told me about it it reminded me of the movie Pearl Harbor, the scene when they were at MEPS. Anyway, then when that was all finished...he swore in. My baby is now an Army Soldier. He hopes to be an Army Ranger. He leaves for Fort Benning on July 30th. That doesn't give me much time to be with him. After he's gone, I won't see him again until the middle of November. What's a mother to do No .

I am proud of him. He's grown into a fine young man. He will do wonders with his life.

I have a lot more to say, but, I need to get ready for church. Will be back later.....

Friday, July 4, 2008

Friday July 4, 2008

I got the neatest compliment yesterday from my neighbor across the street. I hadn't talked with her in a long while. She was out in her yard when I got home from the store. She said I was looking great. Thanks to 42 lbs gone! And she said that I looked so much happier...had a sparkle in my eyes. Why it meant so much to me is because she is one of those people who watch everything out the window. So even though I haven't spoken to her in a while, she has been watching my transformation. I didn't know that my unhappiness showed that much. Ahhh, the things you learn. Anyway, it felt good to hear that. I do feel better! I still have a long way to go with my weight...but I'm almost half way to my goal! And I love my job, it's rewarding!

Matt goes to Dallas on Tuesday to take his physical assesment test, etc. He ships out on 7/30/08 to Ft. Benning in Georgia. He'll be there for a while. Gosh I miss him already. I can't believe I have a child leaving the nest. When did he grow up? I swear I just gave birth to him yesterday!

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Thursday July 3, 2008

Yes, it's 3:30 am and I'm up. Couldn't sleep much. Matt has dropped a bombshell..... it's true.... Camouflage he is enlisting in the Army Rangers... Shocked. I'm scared, as any mother would be. I'm also very proud of him. He will do a good job and my prayers will constantly be with him for his safety.

I guess that is a good reason for not being able to sleep Wake Up

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

Wednesday July 2, 2008

This morning I stopped to top off my tank with gas. I had 3/4 of a tank already and it still cost me $48! It's outrageous Shocked! If I didn't work 18 miles from home I'd ride a bike...okay maybe not in this Texas heat, but it was a thought.

Steve and I went to dinner last night at 'On The Border'. Oh my gosh, it's good food. The scale didn't like me this morning. Going to have to double my water today to flush it out....sigh. I have a goal to have lost 45 lbs by the time Matt and I visit mom and dad. That's 4 lbs to loose in 2 weeks. I hope I do it. That means NO EATING OUT!!!!

I put on a shirt this morning and couldn't wear it. It was just way to big. Those are the silent victories I like!

Matt is looking into the Army Rangers. He really wants to be doing something now. I'm behind him in whatever decision he makes. As scared as I am for him to join the military right now, I'll be right there for him.

Alex put an application in at Taco Bell. I hope they hire him. He wants to earn money.

What happened to the time....weren't my boys just babies yesterday... Mommy & Baby

Well, I gotta check out for now. I have lots of payments to apply here at work.


Saturday, June 28, 2008

Saturday June 28, 2008

Today I'm off to find a few new things to wear. Isn't it just a shame to have to buy new clothes when you lose weight. LOL Shopping

It's going to be a lazy saturday except for a little house cleaning. Hmmmmm...wish a had a maid. Washing Dishes
I also have a little office work left to do. I love being able to work from home a few days a week.

Matt is off working and Alex will help me a little. Maybe we'll watch a movie tonight.

More later....

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Thursday June 26, 2008

This morning Matt and I went to breakfast at Ihop. If I'm going to cheat this is a good place for breakfast. I got so full I didn't eat anything else all day. It was good to have a mother-son outing. Matt is researching all of his options on what to do with this next stage in his life. He graduated as a Texas Scholar on 6/3/08. I'm a real proud mama! Graduation

Alex has become a real track star. He was the district champion for school in the 110 & 300 hurdles. Do I have a future olympian on my hands?????!!!!! Track

Gizmo loves when I work from home. This afternoon he just wanted to be cuddled in my lap. Yes he has me tied around his finger...oops, paw! Puppy 1

Ohhhh, good news this morning. The scale said I lost another pound, 41 total !!Woohoo

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Wednesday June 25, 2008

Well, I thought I'd give this blog thing a try. I'm not so good in writing in a journal and maybe this will help. That way I can share with my family and friends. And they can share back with me.

For starters, I've been dieting...I hate that word...I've been working on a life style change. Much better! I started this change 3/19/08. I was at a very unhealthy weight and just felt awful. So I started Nutrisystem to help me in the weight area. I've been successful thus far...40 lbs gone already!!! I couldn't be more pleased. But what makes me even happier is that, much to my surprise, I'm still 100% gung-ho. Woohoo! I even allow myself cheat meals. They are not planned, it's just spur of the moment. For example, I'm going out to breakfast with a friend of my son Matts tomorrow morning. It's been several weeks since the last outing so I'm allowing myself to go. And will be back on my plan at next meal.

More later...