Sunday, November 30, 2008

Butterflies in my stomach

Surgery is looming ahead of me...have to be there in 12 hours...7:15am. I am so nervous. I've never been put under for that long, 3.5 hours. For me, that's the scariest thing. Yes I know all will be well...the human side of me is trembling. Hey I get a six week reprieve from the office...going in that is! I'll be able to work from home in a few weeks. I'll be looking forward to it because I know I'll get bored.I really do like my job.

Talked with Matt, he has his PT test in the morning at 6:00 am and then leaves for airborne at 11:00. I asked him if he was looking forward to learning how to fall on his head. Steve had said that he never has headaches except when he went through airborne. Then Matt gets to come home for Christmas...YEA!!!

Alex and I went to see Quantum of Solace today. It was alright but nothing spectacular. There really was no story...very littel anyway. But it was action packed. Then we watched Hancock at home. It was good, kind of corney but good. I'm watching a lot of movies today to keep my mind preoccupied. So I also watched The Bishops Wife w/ Cary Grant It's really good. I like old movies.

Well I'm about to find something else to watch and climb into bed. Don't know that I'll sleep much but if I go to bed now I may doze off and on.

Say some prayers for me for tomorrow. Thanks!

Friday, November 28, 2008

A Day for Pampering

Today I am going to pamper myself. I'm going to go see 'Twilight' in an hour all by my lonesome. And then I'm going to go get a pedicure..heck I might even get a manicure. Then I'm going to relax at home...curl up with a blanket, my poochie Gizmo, and a good book. Of course I'll probably end up snoozing a bit....but who cares...I'm pampering myself.

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Thanksgiving Day

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Whew! I'm so full...not eating again for a long time. Yeah, if only that were true, lol!
Steve had to work today so we had our feast at 5:00 pm. Actually that's good because I don't want any leftovers tonight.

This being Thanksgiving I wanted to list a few things I'm thankful for:

1-I'm thankful for a Heavenly Father who knows me inside and out and blesses me with the things I need. I'm grateful that He loves me in spite of my faults.

2-I'm thankful for two wonderful boys. They have brought joy, love and peace to my soul.

3- I'm thankful for my parents who taught me the right way to live. To love my Savior and to follow in His way.

4-I'm thankful for the friends that I have. I thank them for standing by me when I need them most.

5- I'm thankful for my sweet poochie...yes I am. This pup is "womens best friend". Gizmo has completely stolen my heart!

What are you thankful for......

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanksgiving Eve

Today I had my pre-op appointment and final doctor consultation. My surgery is at Harris Downtown Fort Worth. That Hospital is huge. Thank heavens there was a worker in the garage becuase I didn't have a clue where to go. She took me right to where I needed to be. Of course they drew blood and did an EKG. Then it was off to see the surgeon. I feel confident in him. Dumb comment...I'd have to feel confident or he wouldn't be doing my surgery. Anywho...Monday is the big day. I have to be there at 7:15 and the surgery is scheduled for 9:15. The doc said it would take about 3 1/2 hours to complete. I know I will be staying overnight. The nurse had to fight my insurance company for that. They wanted to send me home afterwards. How stupid is that!! An organ is being removed and some others repairs being made. I hate that 'Get-em-in...get-em-out' mentality. Let's make sure the patient is okay first...sheesh!!!

I'm making the full blown Thankgiving dinner for tomorrow. It's only the Three of us but they like it. So tonight I will be making the pies and doing all the prep work for tomorrow. The only thing different this year is that I bought a small turkey verses the humongous bird.

I'm going to see 'Twilight' on friday...by myself. Can't get Alex to go. I've heard both good and bad. But the good has outweighed the bad. So I will make my own decision!

Well...I'm going to start my cooking marathon....chat at ya later!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Matt Graduation Pictures

Matt Turning Blue

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Matt Graduation Day

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Wearing the military issued glasses (he looks like Urkle!!!)

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Matt Bootcamp Graduation

My visit with Matt was just wonderful!! Get ready for a long post here…lol

We were scheduled for the 5:45 AM flight out of Fort Worth to Houston. We live 45 minutes away from the airport (You need to know this before hand). We get there and pull out our ID’s….all except Matt’s girlfriend Jenifer. She left it at our house!!! So needless to say we did’nt make the flight or the flight from Houston to Atlanta. We drove all the way back to my house got her ID and booked it back to the airport hoping to catch the 6:35 am flight. We were 5 minutes late. Murphy’s Law you know! We finally got to Atlanta around 5:00 pm. We stayed at The Suburban Extended stay Hotel (Jeannie do you know where that is...it’s on Victory) It was pretty nice.

Matt’s Turning Blue Ceremony was on Thursday morning. It was so cool to see him come running out to formation. Steve put his blue cord on him. Then Matt got to spend the day with us. We just went back to the hotel and chilled. Matt was in seventh heaven updating his computer, etc.

The Graduation was Friday morning and boy was it COLD!!! I got some cool pictures (at least I think so) of the little presentation they put on before the soldiers marched onto the field. There were 250 soldiers graduating. I loved it! Matt got to spend the weekend with us. Took him shopping for clothes, etc. He’s so happy to have some freedom now. And He got his cell phone back. He’s already text me today…hehehehe.

Fort Benning is huge!!! Biggest Base I’ve every seen. It was a great time.

The flight home was miserable from Atlanta to Houston. Since we were on passed we got the left over seats. I was stuck in the very back row, middle seat, in between two older men. One was real nice and we talked a bit. The other guy was annoyed because I’m not small. It was claustrophobic! But I made it home and I get to pick up my poochie today at 2:00!!!

Sorry this was so long. I’ll attach pics in a bit. I’ve got to figure out how again!
Everyone have a great day!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

It's Almost Here!!!

OMG...24 hours from now I'll be in Houston awaiting the flight to Atlanta, GA. Then we'll get in the rental car and drive to Fort Benning. I'm so excited! I'm sure I won't sleep much tonight. We have to be to the airport by 5:00 am. Heck, why bother even going to bed...LOL!

I do have one thing that makes me sad about leaving. I'm boarding Gizmo at the vets. Now I know they love him but he's never been in a kennel. He'll be so lonely. He won't understand why I left him there. Oh shoot...now I'm crying. Gizmo is people to me. He's my baby. He loves me in spite of my faults. Gizmo is king of the house! He is the sweetest dog I've ever had. I love this pooch like he was my child. I know the people at the vet are fond of him and will take good care of him. It's probably going to be harder on me than Gizmo....sigh

Gotta get to work here so if I have time I'm post more later...

Monday, November 17, 2008

It was a hit!!

The primary program was a success! We only went over 10 minutes. The kids were so cute and sang so loud. I made a few mistakes but all was good. I give thanks to my Heavenly Father for getting me through that. It has always been a fear of mine. I have played the piano for the primary off and on over the last 29 years. But I have never...NEVER had to play for the yearly program. I was either released before it or was a primary teacher at the time. So this was a huge hurdle for me. I had no sweaty palms, no hyperventilating, etc. I just did my thing. It felt good. Imagine that...29 years of fear...and finally I've overcome...just don't ask me to play a solo!!!!

I can't believe how fast time has flown. July 30th we sent Matt off to bootcamp...now we're off to see his graduation day after tomorrow. HOW AWESOME IS THAT!!! I bet he's changed a whole lot. He may be grown up now but he will always be my baby :0)

Sunday, November 16, 2008

Yesterday Alex and I put up the Christmas tree and decorations. I normally don't do it until Thanksgiving Day or there after. But with my surgery looming in the distance and going to see Matt this week, along with getting my work computer moved to here at home (I do work on my laptop two days a week but not all week long. Don't want to tire the poor thing out) and family coming, house cleaning , etc., Christmas decorations needed to be done now...whew, long sentence! Anyway we played Christmas music and really got in the spirit of it all. And a cool thing too is that is was very chilly outside so it even felt like Christmas. Too bad there wasn't snow.

Today is the Primary program. It will be interesting to see how it goes. I sure hope I don't blow it for the kids...heck...they won't even care...it's just me who gets all embarrassed hitting wrong notes. I've never had to actually play in sacrament meeting before so this will be a first. I'll let you know how they did (as well as me..lol)

Friday, November 14, 2008

Is this my house???

This morning I talked to mom and dad for a bit. I'm so excited to have them come spend Christmas and NewYears with us!! We will just sit back and relax and enjoy each others company!!

After talking to my folks I started cleaning....do you know what I found out... the lamp shades in my living room are cream in color...not grey! It was like getting a new accessory for my living room...LOL!

I had bought a new vaccum because our windtunnel was too hard to maintain. Well the one I got is Bissel and I really like the hose/ attachments, the suction is awesome...however I don't care so much for the rest (except it does real well on hardwood floors). So I have decided to keep my old one as well where I like the carpet cleaning part and not the hose.

Now that I've totally bored you and put me to sleep...I'm trying real hard to whip this place into shape. I confess I'm not the greatest housekeeper but I'm sure trying.

Matt called last night and he is sooooo looking forward to seeing us. He sounds tired. He said they've been cleaning all the equipment, guns, barracks, etc. all week. It's been no lights out 24/7. I asked him when they slept and he said whenever they can find a moment. They've learned to sleep with the lights on. Man, I could never do that...I want it dark!!!

Tonight Ghost Whisperer is on and I'm shocked they killed off Melinda's husband. My jaw hit the floor in last weeks episode. Tonight I've already to everyone...LEAVE ME ALONE...while I'm watching it tonght.

It's getting cool outside. The coldfront is starting through. I just wish it would stay, I'm a winter kind of girl!

More later...

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Here is the quiz for today. I have no idea how to tag, link, etc. So enjoy and if the urge hit's you leave me a comment with your own answers!


3's about me (that you may not already know) Three jobs I have had in my life: Multi-line Insurance Rater, Home Daycare Provider, Medical Billing/Coding

Three shows that I watch: Ghost Whisperer, House, Reality Shows (some of them)

Three places I have been this week: Church, movie theater, work

Three people who e-mail me regularly: Christy, Mom, Joanna

Three of my favorite foods: Steak, anything Mexican, anything Italian

Three places I'd rather be: Blaine Minnesota (visiting family), Hawaii , getting a spa treatment somewhere

Three people I think will respond: Aubrey, Joanna, Jeannie

Three things I am looking forward to: Seeing Matt in a week!!! Christmas and New Years ( family coming to see us!)
I had a blast working on my blog last night. A lot of fun things out there and other blogs to creatively copy from...LOL. So I thank Aubrey, Jeannie, and Pam. I sure would like to get more creative in what I write. It's more like a journal for me but I really like the quizes I receive on my email so I think I may add some of those too.

Today through Saturday is major house cleaning day. On top of that I'm going to do a little shopping. I want to find one of the fiberoptic Christmas trees. they are so pretty and low maintenance. Otherwise I want a tree with the lights already on it and new decorations. Christmas this year is going to be awesome. Matt, my parents, hopefully Steve's mom will all be here.

I'm off and running now but will add more meaningful substance to my blog later...chow!

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

ONE MORE WEEK!!!!!! November 12, 2008

I can't believe how fast time flies! We're already getting things together to go see Matt. His friend Jenifer and I are coordinating how we're going to get the things Matt wants us to bring to him. Since we're flying on buddy passes, we are carrying our bags on board. I am not looking forward to the squishy seats.

I am cleaning my house from top to bottom (ok, I'll give it a good effort since I'm not the greatest keeper). Time is going to fly from next week on for a while. When we get back from Georgia, I've got to get all the Christmas stuff up and the house decorated...Have Thanksgiving (which by the way was started by my ninth Great Grandfather Governor William Bradford). Then December 1st is my surgery.

I really not looking forward to the surgery....actually kind of scared. Four procedures will be done and the doctor said it would take about 3 1/2 hours to complete. I'll be sore for a while, but I'll have 6 weeks to recover.

Mom and Dad, Steve's mom (maybe), are coming down for Christmas. Matt is so excited ans well as I am!!!

Will need to complete my thoughts later as I'm supposed to be working.....check back later!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Tuesday November 11, 2008

It's 7:49 am and already I have spend several hours searching my heart for the things I want in life. I'm actually feeling pretty good about some of the decisions I've come up with. Actually they are things I've thought about for some time. It's time to take control of myself, take care of myself, be the person I want to be. It feels good. Now I know I need to go to my Heavenly Father first to see if these changes are what's best for me. But for the first time in a long time...my head and heart are in the same place. Heck, who knows, maybe now I can quit sabatoshing myself LOL!

I'm actually starting to have fun with this blog. I'm still pulling my hair out trying to figure out how to put things on it..but hey, that's the nature of the beast! Oh, and Jeannie, if you happen to visit my blog...I'm really not copying....just having a lot of fun!!

Eight more days and we fly out to visit Matt!!!! I'm sooooooo excited. Can't say I'm too excited about the plane ride (ie the very small seats!). I'm feeling sad about leaving Gizmo behind. I'm boarding him at our vets. They really like him and I know they'll take good care of him. It's just that I have never kennel trained him. He'll freak!!! My poor baby...sob......

It's time to get working...I love my job!! Ta-ta for now :0)

Monday, November 10, 2008

I wrote Matt a long letter today. I was listing the things I had to do before he got home. I started to get that anxiety feeling. It's a strange feeling. It's a sense of...how to describe...a sense of not being in control. It didn't last long but I was surprised I felt that way in just writing a letter.

Anywho, I'm taking a deep breath and trying to go with the flow.

Yesterday we practiced for the Primary program. What a hoot! Our primary is fairly large...imagine at least 50-60+ kids in a restless state for 2 hours. Oh my gosh, the program is supposed to be about 35-40 minute long...it took 2 hours to get through it just once...hehehe. Somehow every year it all works out. The children behave, remember their parts, and hopefully the pianist doesn't screw up LOL!

One worry has been removed from my mind as far as work is concerned through my recovery from surgery. I will be bringing my PC home so I have access to everything on it and not have to worry about someone else printing something out for me. So I'm relieved. I'm one of those people who hates relying on others for help. I know...I need to let others help me when in need. It's not only a blessing for me but a blessing for others who want to serve. It's just hard getting that through my head.

People from church will be bringing in meals for a little while in the beginning so Steve and Alex don't have to worry about it. My folks will be here for Christmas and just having them here to enjoy their company is a comfort. Steve's mom may being coming down too. She would do anything for me. I will say that I have been blest with the most absolute wonderful parents anyone could ask for. And I also was blest with the most wonderful Mother-in-law!

I am so looking forward to Matt coming home for Christmas. He loves Christmas...the lights, the music, the Christmas shows, the goodies...just the whole feeling of love at Christmas time.

I remember one Christmas while growing up that I'll never forget. We did a sub for Santa program that year. I was a senior in high school. We were asked to buy gifts for the children of the family that we were given. We did more than that. Each of us kids willingly gave up part of our own christmas and purchased toys for the children. As a family we didn't stop there, we also provided clothing to this family, including the mom & dad. They were hand me downs from our family, but these clothes, coats, etc. were in awsome condition. Then we bought a Christmas Tree with all the lights and decorations. Then we provided them with a Christmas dinner including all the trimmings. I remember when we got to their home, the father had the kids go in a back room because "Santa" has just arrived. My dad does the best Ho-ho-ho's!!! You could hear the kids giggling of excitement in the background. As we brought all of these things in I glanced at the mother and there were tears streaming down her face. It was the most humbling moment for me. It wasn't all the things we were giving them. It was letting these strangers know that we loved them. The car ride home was silent...a peaceful silence. Grateful to be able to serve our brothers and sisters of the world. I always tear up when I think about that Christmas. That is what Christmas is all about.

It it so past my bedtime but somehow I feel like I just might get enough sleep. Going to sleep on these wonderful memories. Think I'll listen to some Christmas tunes to go to sleep by!

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Sunday November 9, 2008

I feel like I'm trapped in a raging whirlpool, getting spun around and around. It's amazing to me how much pressure I put on myself because of my weight. I know I judge myself way too harshly. And right now I want to hide under the nearest (and biggest) rock. I was doing so good. From March of this year to July of this year I has lost 44 pounds. And now half of it is back on. I'm an emotional eater. I let littel stresses become big stresses. Things that are stressing me right now (and please don't laugh because they're huge to me even if not to anyone else): Having to play the piano for the Primary program next Sunday, fitting in an airplane seat that's smal even to a regular size person (and continental is the worst!), Matt seeing me with weight back on, my upcoming surgery, and a few other things that I don't care to write about.

I'm not having a pity me party, I'm just venting the emotions I have always dealt with. I always feel like I'm second best...or third...or fourth...etc. Now I can't say that with my children. I adore them and I know they love me. And of course my parents...they are the best any could ask for. They would do anything for me and I for them. I guess I'm talking about other relationships, but I don't want to get into it right now.

I seem to always run away from things and I don't want to do that anymore. I have made a lot of wonderful changes to myself over the past two years so I am grateful for that. I just need to keep moving forward.

I have to be positive the rest of the day. I owe it the those wonderful primary children who are so innocent. If they can overlook all my wrong notes...then I should be able too also.

More later....