Overwhelming Saddness

Last night as I lay in bed, my thoughts were all over the place. Thinking about the things I need to do, where Alex and I were going to live, etc. Then sheer saddness came over me. Matt is on his own now, Alex wants to graduate early (by Jan 2010) and head right into the Army, and I'll be divorced. I will be all alone. It hit me like a ton of bricks. It was so overwhelming, I cried for hours. I know my boys love me and we will be in contact quite often. It's just the fact that I won't see them day to day. That part of my life is just about over and it kills me. I can be alone and take care of myself quite well. I just don't want to be alone...sigh