When did I become so gullible? When did I let my guard down? When did I let myself 'feel'...even for a second? These are questions I've asked myself over and over. I need to keep the brick wall up around my heart...it's safer that way. So I take a deep breath...hold it...let it out slowly...and start all over again.
Later.....
I'm sooo stressed right now. I'm ready for this ride to be OVER!!! I have a child who has decided that he doesn't want to live with me..."I stress him out"...go figure, ask him to do any chores or help out with anything and he blows up. He thinks it will be easier to get past his Dad. He has been so disrespectful to me (actually for quite a while now). What did I do wrong? Where did I go wrong? I didn't raise him to be this way...The sad thing is...I'm to the point where...I don't know whether to care anymore.
Tonight I'm on the edge...I want sleep to take over...my head hurts, my brain hurts, my heart hurts, I'm freaking lonely...I want to scream...
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